During my time with God this morning, He gave me some direction. I listened and wrote down what I heard and then moved directly from writing it down to reading my devotional.
Because I have limited energy and sensory capacity, I came to my devotional time with a to-do list in mind.
Pray Communion Read devotional Read Proverbs 5 Read at least 1 chapter from Leviticus
I didn’t feel like I was rushing but I also was not 100% present.
As I started to write a note from what I was reading in my devotional, Riley jumped on the couch. I assumed she was just going to snuggle up beside me, as she normally does, but instead she crawled on my lap and into my arms.
I scrambled to move my stuff so she wouldn’t knock it on the floor. Working through Long COVID has made me much more aware of how much energy and oxygen it takes for me to get things off the floor.
I was a little annoyed with the interruption but only a little.
As she licked my face and asked for me to kiss her I asked God, “What would You do if You were in the middle of something and I just randomly ran up to You, jumped into Your arms, and started kissing Your face and snuggling into You?”
He laughed and said, “Exactly what you did.”
I had this funny image in my mind of God sitting behind a gigantic desk and sweeping everything out of the way so I could spend time in His arms. It made my heart warm even as it made me giggle.
Then He asked me a question. “What if I asked Riley to jump into your arms do you would slow down, be still, and soak in what I just said to you?”
Ha! Divinely orchestrated snuggle time?
So I enjoyed snuggling and sitting and listening more deeply, and as I did, I cried. I breathed. I slowed down.
I didn’t realize I was rushing. I didn’t realize I had an agenda that I was just trying to bust through so I could check this off my to-do list while I was able to. I didn’t even think that God might have had more to say or that I should take the time to really engage in conversation with Him about what He did say. I just wrote it down and moved on, figuring I’d get back to it when I was done.
The whole thing reminded me that the point of my devotional time is not to get through a to-do list, it is to spend devoted time with God – engaging with Him, listening to His heart, adoring Him, lavishing Him with my love, and enjoying the extravagant generosity of His love for me. It doesn’t have to look a certain way or be done in a certain amount of time because it’s about relationship, time spent together.
Now, I’m not saying that prayer and reading the Bible and study and worship are not all important, because they are critical aspects of an experiential relationship with God. What I am saying is that it’s okay to just spend time curled up in His arms, listening to Him sing His love song over us, and allow His presence to saturate and immerse us. In my life, I have found that these times bring all the other things to life and make them richer and more substantial than if I just go through them to check them off the list.
Today was a good reminder of that!
