I took Riley out for a short potty walk this morning. Oh, how she wanted to go further, faster. And, I wanted to let her.
She wanted to jump into the bushes onto the critters moving the branches and walk through the deep, muddy grass. And, I wanted to let her.
Instead, I directed her to cleaner places with lower grass and no sticks, to keep as much gunk as possible out of the incisions on her foot and chest. I kept her leash short and slowed my own pace to keep her calm and moving slowly.
Her eyes kept pleading with me – “Let’s gooooo, Mom. Let’s go further. Let’s go that way. Come on.”
I fought back tears. I wanted to say, “Okay baby, let’s go.”
But I know things she doesn’t know. She doesn’t understand, “Ten days of bed rest.” She doesn’t understand that she needs to heal from the procedures she had. She doesn’t understand that even though movement is important, rest and stillness are what’s necessary right now…just temporarily…so she can enjoy the freedom and movement in a few short days. She doesn’t understand that a little extra freedom and play now, a little running, a little jumping, a little space to chase a squirrel or a crow could delay her healing and prolong her downtime.
She doesn’t understand but I do; and because I do, I do what’s right and best for her even though I want to give her what she’s asking for.
What she’s asking for will come. But not today. And not because I don’t want her to have it. But because I love her and want her to have it when it won’t hurt her or cause long-lasting damage to the unhealed wounds.
As I looked into her eyes and wiped the tears out of mine, all these thoughts flooded my mind and then, I heard Holy Spirit say – “It’s the same with you. There have been many times that in My wisdom and understanding of what was required in a season, I did not give you what you wanted because what you wanted would have hurt you or delayed the things that would come if you would just relax, be still, and trust Me. Like you with Riley, I wanted to give you what you wanted, and I knew I was going to give you what you wanted, just not right then. I heard your pleading and felt your struggle. I held you as you cried because you didn’t understand and thought you were doing something wrong. I held you close and whispered – ‘Not yet, beloved. I love you. Hold fast.’”
It reminded me of Habakkuk 2:3 AMPC For the vision is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end [fulfillment]; it will not deceive or disappoint. Though it tarry, wait [earnestly] for it, because it will surely come; it will not be behindhand on its appointed day.
So, I breathe deep, settle her in and I settle into God whose timing is always perfect, whose heart is always with me, and who is better acquainted with everything I’m going through, have gone through, and will go through than I could possibly imagine.
